Second day of Blog Every Day in September (my official name for it until I come up with a better one...) and I've only got an hour and 20 minutes left. XD I'm totally awesome at this.
So I got my first manicure and pedicure today! I don't usually do girl things, like getting my hair and nails done, but my friend wanted to have a Girls' Night thing and so we did it. Honestly, I probably would have saved the $40, but it was an experience, and it was kind of fun to be pampered. :D But it made me think about beauty standards and all the stuff women do to be pretty, and I just don't know how I feel about it.
On the one hand, there's the whole extreme-measures-taken-to-look-hot-for-men thing, which really does bother me at times. I mean, if you want to wax and tan and paint yourself for you, that's great. But don't do it specifically to impress a man, or any one else, for that matter. There's nothing wrong with any of it, just with the motives behind it. Because it seems like every product aimed at women is telling us that we're not good enough just by ourselves - we need layers of makeup, intending to make us look "natural," we need special products for our skin under all that makeup, we need perfumes and certain clothes and shoes, and it just all gets ridiculous.
Let's be clear - I don't care if you wear makeup or heels or short skirts or whatever, if that's what you like. If that's what you feel good in. I just hate how it's marketed, how all the ads seem to say "hey, just change this certain thing about you, and then you'll be totally hot!" I sometimes wear eyeliner and do my eyebrows, because I feel like just a little color is enough to accent my eyes and all that nonsense. :D But I don't feel the need to wax every hair off my body or paint my entire face every day.
On the other hand, sometime I do feel like I'm not girly enough. I mean, I don't style my hair, I don't get all dressed up in current fashions, or even match all the time. I'm just me. But maybe if I tried a little harder, I'd feel prettier or better about myself. And I feel like that feeling is a direct effect of the way things are advertised to women. Because I wear unfashionable clothes and don't spend hundreds of dollars on making myself hairless and tanned, I feel like I'm unattractive, and that is unfair.
I think it's unfair that all of this stuff is marketed towards women to make us prettier or whatever, but so little is aimed at men for the same thing. I mean, men have what, razors and cologne and... what else? Clothes, sure, but it's not such a big deal for guys to wear jeans and a t-shirt every day. It's just not the same for men. Women put so much effort into looking beautiful and put-together every day, and it just doesn't matter as much for men. =/ It's a little unfair, and it kind of implies that women need so much work, and men are just fine aside from needing to shave and smell nice.
But whatever. I guess the whole point of this blog is that I don't know how I feel about these things. "These things" includes mani/pedis, hair salons, tanning beds, makeup, and fashionable clothing and shoes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being into these things or doing them because you like them. There's nothing really wrong with doing it to be more attractive, it just kind of bugs me that the entire industry of products for women is aimed at making us more desirable for men. And that men don't have to do the same stuff, which isn't fair. And I guess that sums up my flippy-floppy feelings on that subject. :D
EDIT - Wow, I just read through this, and holy crap, could I say "feel" any more often?! O_o Jeez. I guess I'm channeling Stephenie Meyer. XD
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I was just taking about this with my friend today! We were at the mall and bemoaning that the guy section always has the better t-shirts because it's okay for guys to just wear shirts and jeans, while girls always have to wear shirts that are either covered in floral designs or hearts or whatever (nothing wrong with those things, but still), and the closest they get to funny is sexually suggestive kittens.
ReplyDeleteIt pisses me off that men aren't marketed to the same way because, if a guy walked into my English class wearing a sleek ensemble with an Italian, fur-collared leather jacket, with his hair all fabulous and he was not gay...I would probably be removed from college for performing godless acts. And probably be arrested. So, maybe it is good that men are not marketed to that way, so that I wouldn't get arrested ALL THE TIME...
ReplyDeleteBut still, my overall conclusion to this is that getting arrested would be so worth it, and that more men should look like they do in my mind. See? I am a shallow victim of advertising, as well.
-continues thinking about gorgeous dream man-
@tju-tju-tju-tju - Thank you for reading my blog. :D <3 Dude, seriously, guys' clothes are almost always better than girls' clothes, 'cause girls' clothes are getting sluttier and skimpier, or are covered in ridiculous designs and glitter (although I like glitter, I don't want every shirt I own to be glittery), or they're just plain uncomfortable. Guys get all the comfort. =/
ReplyDelete@Emily - I agree, it does kind of go both ways. I mean, yeah, girls can objectify men as well, and it's not like ads for mens' stuff don't tell them to behave a certain way to get a hot girls' attention, but I really don't think it's on the same level. And dude, for real, I'm there with you - well-dressed, put-together men are delightful indeed. In fact, most of the girls I know who liked Inception liked it most because of the pretty men in suits. XD Shallow, possibly, but no more shallow than the rest of the world. We're a very visual, sexual-minded society. =/ Kinda sucks, but there you have it. THE POINT IS, it should go both ways. :D
Okay, so this is something that I could talk about forever. The societal norms and expectations are those that tell women that they're not good enough. In looks or brains, or fulfilling the gender roles assigned to us by the traditions of our society. The problems come in when women find themselves at adds with who they feel they should be and who they actually are. As you pointed out, it IS up to choice, but it's definitely a sociological thing-- what we think we have to do and the things we're encouraged to do by the industry and people around us.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I am one of those people that will try a little bit to feel better about myself. I won't self-tan or anything like that because I don't think there is a point-- my skin may be blemished, and it's certainly not perfect, but being pale doesn't bother me. I only go through so much effort, though, because I'd rather be seen for more than just physical appearance. I try to present myself as put-together, but that doesn't mean extremes. A bit of make-up to hide the acne so that I feel comfortable speaking in front of people, and clothes that make me feel pretty so that I can feel good about my body, despite any insults.
I don't know where I was going with that but I guess the point it women should accept who they are and what they look like without everything that the fashion/beauty industry says is right. It's tough to do, since for so long we have been told that we just aren't good enough. At the point where women feel comfortable in their bodies, I believe that our collective self-esteem will go up and our refusal of that particular industry will shift. I hope that made sense. xD
Anyway, good post :) You tend to post about things that make people think, which is really cool.
<3
-Aly
@Aly - I agree with everything you said. :D I wish women as a whole could just be happy with themselves. I'm definitely included in that, as well. But it's not a bad thing to want to look nice, to want to look put together, or even to want to look hot. It's just the whole doing-everything-to-attract-and-keep-a-man thing that irritates me. =/
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks, I try to post things that will be interesting and thought-provoking, so I'm glad to know that I'm winning. ^_^